Are You A Member Of The Taliban?

It's not nice to plagiarize, but some things are just too good to pass up, like this bit of hilarity from "Sigmund, Carl and Alfred":

In response to Osama bin Laden’s latest message to the civilized world, we are offering a top 10 list of ways to identify the Taliban and their supporters.

10. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to beer.

9. You own an $800 machine gun and a $5,000 rocket launcher, but you cannot afford new shoes for your children.

8. Some of you have more wives than teeth.

7. You think vests come in two styles- bullet proof and suicide.

6. You can’t think of anyone you haven’t declared jihad against.

5. You consider television dangerous yet you routinely carry ammunition and explosives under your robe.

4. You’ve never been asked, “Does this burqa make my ass look fat?”

3. You were amazed to learn that cell phones are used for reasons other than detonating explosive devices.

2. For you, proper etiquette demands that you always compliment your host/hostess by saying, “I love what you’ve done with this cave!“

Finally, the number one reason you might be identified as a member of the Taliban:

1. You wipe your ass with your hand but consider bacon ‘unclean.’